Napapansin ko….

…nakakapag-post lang ako kapag masama ang loob ko….

And yes, grabe, and I know blogging somehow ease it. The thought that I am like talking to you and sort of prayer na rin.

God demands the totality of your being. That you invest all of yourSelf into celebrating the glory and the preciousness of being alive right now, no holding back and saving for later.

That came from an application in Facebook and yes it somehow, shot right through me. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Funny, this morning, well, my husband and I had an argument and yes it is the argument that most couples go through. MONEY! Priorities and other stuff. But of course, I didn’t really shout or anything, I am really afraid of him to do that. But you know, my heart was really crying.

Arggghhhh… Basta. Yun. Then after he went to work I prayed to God,” ano po ba gagawin ko? Should I look for a job? Bakit naman ang tagal ng blessings?” Hahaha….That’s just a rebellious daughter speaking to her Father.

Then, after that, Ate, my sister-in-law, got into some argument with my brother-in-law and yes, it was about money. Then I was kinda thinking “See? Lord? everybody here is having the same problem!”

And then she approached me (I was folding our clothes then and the door was open), she said ” Bakit kasi hindi pa sagutin na lang ni Lord ang lahat ng dasal natin eh no… Hindi naman sa pag-aano (she said this as a disclaimer kasi Christian din siya)… Eh kaya lang sana wala na ganitong problema!”

I said, ” well, He can’t answer all of our prayers because He needs to look into our hearts first. May nabasa akong book (Breakthrough Prayer by Pastor Jim Cymbala) sabi we need to clean our lives or at least attempt to para i-answer yung prayer natin. Like, yan yung sa 5-6, diyan pa lang wala na yung faith niyan e…Kasi if He is going to answer all our prayers and we’re doing things na una pa lang ipinagbawal niya eh, it’s like He is supporting our lifestyle di ba?”

Then she said, ” eh di yun nga dapat na lang magpadala siya ng blessing para wala ng bumbay! Kahit ilang libro naman basahin ko tungkol sa prayer wala rin kasi wala naman…”

I said (in a defeated tone), ” eh dun nga makikita yung faith e, minsan He is asking for our obedience first before He gives the blessing. Paano naman kung i-bless niya tayo with what we want e, hindi naman ready heart natin. Baka lalo lang tayo mapalayo sa kaniya” At this point, God was impressing to me, “There is your answer, ikaw na ang sumagot!”

Hahaha… You are truly my Father! Biruin mo..Hahaha…Minsan talaga ang tao no, alam naman ang sagot sa tanong eh nagtatanong pa!

Ah, then I prayed after that. Repented for every sin I know of. Then I asked Him what should I do na. Wahahaha…My husband texted ” Wag na muna.” (About the new work na papasukin ko sana). Okay, Wives submit to your husband.

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