Putting My Faith in Christ

My sister, Charm, always text me during Sunday to tell me what topic they had at church and how our dear pastors there interpreted and explained it. Then she will text me some verses. This has been going on since I moved here in Rizal because I now rarely go to church or go to a different church, it is not that the church I go to now is not Christian but I just really miss my home church. So she opened up like this. ” te, ang ganda ng topic ngayon, it’s for the people who think they have faith but really don’t”. I replied “ouch! that hurts!” Then she said, “ouch talaga!”

So it was all about us being Christian but sometimes we don’t know that we’re putting our faith in our faith and not to Jesus Christ. That we tend to just hear what we want to hear from church than listen to the true and sound doctrine. Well, yeah, I think it really got me. LIke now, I rarely go to church because I miss the feeling of being in VCF Alabang. Which I know is bad. Hmmm… What else? Then she told me about God revealing to us things yet we don’t obey. Ouch! And then we are just claiming His promises but really we’re not putting any effort to it. Yeah… Like what are those I ask her. Then she told me, ” I know you know what those are. It’s really up to you to discern.” Then I came to realize a lot of things. Some petty things actually in my point of view but I am not doing anything about because I didn’t thuink God really cares for all of that. But then I suddenly remembered that God is really after our everything. He wants us as living sacrifice! ( Romans 12:1-2) So it means I really have to surrender everything to Him. Not just my prayer time, my family life but everything. As I come to think of it, God made a lot of promises to me, showed me how I can get them but still I didn’t do it. Then I prayed and here are what He told me.

He promised me I will have a child. – but I have PCOS, my OB told me I need to lose weight or it will really be hard for me to conceive. So what’s in it? I never tried to get rid of my addiction to wrong food ( which is by the way can be considered idolatry because I can’t stop it), never tried to exercise or do anything to make my womb “conceivable”. As my good friend Ganns, always joke in his blog, “our body is the temple of the Holy Sprit not the Mall of Asia”. And my doctor also told me that I really need to prepare before I get pregnant because with the weight I have right now, there’s a high risk for me to have high blood pressure when I labor.
I will be rich (or at least will be able to live a comfortable life)- but sometimes I forget to tithe. HOw can he pour out the blessings when I don’t sow sparingly? In Malachi 3:10, he promised He will pour out blessings so much we won’t have enough room for it but he has a condition, give your first 10 percent. Well, I am failing in that so that answers my question.
I will live a peaceful life- but I always indulge in chatting and whining about things that are not what He wants to hear. in 2 Timothy 2:16 it said , “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.” and 2 timothy 2:14 “Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.” Most of the time I do this, to be honest, talk about things that are of no value, whine about my job, talk about Errol (my colleague), or anyone at that.
So these are just some of the things that I do which I didn’t realize is hindering God from using me. Of course, I understand that God wants to bless me but with these attitudes why would He take the risk. If He makes me rich now that I am not in the proper mindset it might ruin me right? I though about it, I prayed about it and He told me:

Hebrews 12:2
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

It is really great to feel that God is talking to you. Well, throughout my life, I have wandered and wasted a great deal of my time and life yet He always call me not letting me go. Now I just have to grab my Bible and talk to Him again He might have some more revelations.

A Noble Purpose

This morning I was reading my Bible before I went out to do the stuff that I do (work?). I follow VCF’s Bible Study guide and today being October 21st, I read 2 Timothy 2 and 2 Timothy 1(which I failed to read yesterday,sorry Lord!). What caught my attention was this verse in chapter 1 verse 7:

” … for God did not give us the spirit of timidity but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline”

And being the person that I am, I focused on the spirit of power. I immediately put in my journal:

” YEAH, God gave me the spirit of power. It means I can do everything in God who strengthens me. Rock on!”

But God told me to wait… and read on. I did…And then I read chapter 2 verse 19:

” Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness.”

And chapter 2 verses 15 and 16:

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. 16Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly”

It is amazing how God detailed in the Bible how he want things to happen and what He is giving us to help us make the thing happen. Now, reading the entire chapter I knew why God told me to read on and not to just look at what I want to look at.

In the latter part of 2 Timothy 2, we are being taught to clean ourselves so we can be used for God’s noble purpose. How do we do that? He gave us the spirit of SELF-DISCIPLINE. Wow! Noticed how the word loops to where it started? Amazing. God’s message for me today is (as written in my journal):

“ He gave me the all the power I can use to keep His commands and serve Him, not for my own use or not for the satisfaction of men.I am given the spirit of POWER, LOVE, and SELF-DISCIPLINE, to make a difference, to be different, to help out, to share what I have and to turn away from wickeness so He can use me for His noble purpose.”

Lord, I pray that I will be able to turn away from wickedness. I pray that now, I will be able to prepare myself to be used for your noble purpose. Refine me. Purify me. Thank you for giving me the power of SELF-DISCIPLINE and I pray that I CAN USE THAT now to change my heart and my desires so that I can focus solely on serving You. I pray in Jesus Name. Amen.

Rabbles

Yesterday, we attended church. It was the last installment of the series, “LOST”. This is not to talk about that though, since Pastor Sonny already tackled that yesterday. Hehehe…

It was my first day ( for the nth time) of discussing One2One with a small group leader, her name is Glo. It was great having been attending church for a long time after I “backslid”, I never joined small group until yesterday. There, I was given a Bible calendar to have a guide to my Bible -reading.

This morning, I read about Numbers 10-11, and was touched deeply. This talks about how the Israelites trusted and obeyed God in the beginning but complained and ranted to Him in the end. Numbers 10 talks about how God commanded Moses to tell Israelites to like follow the cloud. Everytime the cloud lifts and leaves the Israelites follow and as soon as the cloud rests, they camp in that place. They obeyed God, they follow the cloud, camp where the cloud rests even if it takes a month, a year or even decade before the cloud will lift again. It was good obedience , but later in chapter 11, they started to complain about not having meat as food. They said they were so tired of eating manna, they complained about the provision that was given to them by God! So God gave them what they ask for. He gave quails so many that they have ebough of it for a month. He gave the people a lot of meat they hated it in the end. Because that is what God wants them to feel, He became mad that ” while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the LORD burned against the people, and he struck them with a severe plague” (verse 33). To relate that in the present time here are some points I derived from it, based on my own experience:

1. We obey God at the start- especially when provisions are new. We just had our new car, new house and our business is picking up great.

2. Then we start to complain – when our neighbor gets the newest car model and the likes. When we feel that we’re getting less. Like how they complain about the manns, we want more, we want “meat”, more money, greater job, newest car, a mansion. That we tend to forget that God is the provider, that we have to make all the things that we have prosper first and that God certainly knows what to do.

He wants the best for us, of course. But we also have to show obedience first and be thankful on what we have first and then if He sees we can be trsted with greater things then He will give us His best. Sadly, I am like that, I keep on complaining about my job now, I want something new, I want a business. I forgot that God provided this for me and this is where He puts me. I just pray I can change my state of mind.

“God, give me a thankful and patient heart. Help me stop complaining and help me learn to trust you fully. Amen.”

post also in my Multiply site.

Am I wrong?

This is another ranting. If someone from my family read this then all the better.

Two days ago, my sister texted me, she said that my Dad and stepmom fought that night because of me. I am not doing anything to them, I am not even going there anymore. Well, it all started when my aunt texted my stepmom to ask when are we moving out from the crib we’re living in right now, which is my grandma’s. Then, I don’t know if who is saying the truth but I guess I just have to put it this way “nangulit” daw si tita. Then, my stepmom, being the naturally selfish character that she is ( please walang kontra! read my previous post and kung uso na itong blog when I was 6 years old baka meron din blog siya dito) she told my dad that I/ we could not take a large portion of the house they live in. You see, my grandma wants us (my sis and me) to take half of the house and she is insisting that that is our share. My stepmom, argued with my dad about it, she does not want us to live there. Well, sorry but the feeling is mutual. But I guess, the point is, why are they picking on me? I am not the one who made that decision and ALL OF US does not have any rights to claim any of my lola’s property because it is hers. If it is my dad reacting that way, I guess it will be fine, but it was her! Argggghhhh…

Then, being the matapang person that I am, I texted my aunt and my stepmom. Asking them to stop it, because I am not after material wealth. Honestly, now I am thinking of investing in heaven. I want to be with God when I live this temporary residence. And I know I couldn’t bring the land titles and the monies to heaven. So they can suck it in their bags, (pakitagalog lang bags is baga). Hehehe…

It just so hurt me, because I keep on forgiving her. I never ever did her any wrong even if she is so rude to me. Then even if she is just being plastic to a lot people I never did spilled it out because I don’t want my family to fight. My husband told me tuloy that because of covering up for members of my family, ako yung naaapektuhan, ako ang masama.

Well, I told my sister nga, it doesn’t matter whether they approve of me or not as long as I am not doing wrong in God’s sight then I don’t care. I am not for the world.

Do not conform to the patterns of this world…

Great God!

God is very great to me. He keeps on talking to me and telling me His will. This is the effect of “downloading ” His will by obeying Him, so now I am slowly “uploading” His blessings.

Well, couldn’t consider that I have a great job but now God is giving me an alternative, or maybe the best. He is giving me a business idea, a possible financier and possible mentor. Hehehe…Woohooo…God is Great sing His praise!

About my job, I now work with a nice company, good pay, good name. But they suck all your strength until you almost die! Arrrggghhh…That is what I don’t like about being an employee, you can’t really say no. Who cares about the labor code? First, they ask us to do overtime and we could not say no, then they ask us to take 30 minutes lunch and take the rest of the 30 minutes as OT. Worst, my break schedule is 4 1/2 hours apart. Imagine that! Well, God grants me the loan and the business that we (Him and me) have been talking about then yeah! I’m resigning. Yey!!!

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Just finished reading “Think Rich Pinoy ” by Larry Gamboa (actually I just finished the book in 3 hours! That is how interesting it is!) I am overly inspired to be on the 4th quadrant! (For those who are not that financially literate it is from Robert Kiyosaki’s book, these are the people who let their money work for them instead of working for money, in short leveraging businessmen). I want to quit the 15th and 30th payday cycle and be in charge of how much I should earn. Yeah, of course, with the Greatest Mentor to help me.

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February 01, 2008=== got married with my man again! Hahaha. I am so happy, ecstatic! I love you so much Kitus. You know that and I devote myself to be the best wife there could ever be, the wife God wants me to be for you. Mwah!

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